A Cure for Wellness (2016) Review

"Well, Mr. Lockhart, what do you make of that?"

"Clearly he's lost his mind."

Wild to think that the Pirates of the Carribean director made this movie as his blank check dream project until you remember that before Pirates he did the American The Ring remake, but then it gets even wilder when you remember that he probably got The Ring job off the success of Mouse Hunt.

An 147 (!) minute long psychological horror film can almost be nothing else than a spectacular monument to one man's arrogance, and the box office rebelled against him; but it's a popcorn-muncher through-and-through, even as it inevitably crutches to the finish line.

The films writhes with style like so many immortal eels, but Dane DeHaan was fiercely nearing the end of proving why he isn't actually a movie star. I wonder who the villain could be, a viewer wonders, perhaps... Jason Isaacs?? Mia Goth's eyebrows exist in a follicular superposition, but so do mine, so we hold solidarity with her.